If there is one thing I've learnt in the past 24 hours, it is how much it hurts when things go wrong, and that person you trusted and turned to in the face of problems is the same person hurting you. How much it hurts to find out that you meant less than you thought you did to the person who, in a spineless and pathetic moment, threw everything away. And how lovely the idea of breaking down and crying, hiding away and closing everyone out sounds. But I wont do it. When I get thrown to the ground I assess the damage, brush off the dirt, pick my self up again and keep walking. One foot in front of the other. Because as much as I want to be sitting in your arms on your bed watching batman, walking my dog with you and finding a place to hide away and talk about all the wonderful things we want to do, or making waffles together at midnight because I can't ignore my stomach anymore, I can't. I can't and I wont do it as much as it hurts not to. Those things are memories now. Something I will never regret because while it lasted it was so, so good. But now you've made a choice and I'm not sticking around. I will keep walking away because I know there are bigger and better things for me, and love, you know full fucking well how I feel about you, and about her, and that I will always be okay. So while she crawls back to you every single chance she gets, I wont do it. It's just too bad you took that for granted.
And yes, you said you'll
see me around?
I sure as hell hope not.
- xx, Kelly.
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