Start Again A Little Higher...

I don't want to say. I don't want to fall because I don't see anyone there to catch me. I don't see this ending well. Of course you could argue nothing ever does; we all fight, break up, hurt, and die at some point, but it's this feeling that I can't quite harness. It's a fear of sorts, not of you but of myself. Because you see, my world has been turned upside-down and I still haven't quite landed on my feet. Everything and everyone is changing and this throws another thing at me. And in all honesty, I take time to adjust to change. To adjust to not knowing who I was closest to months ago, learning the other side of those people, and then this. I feel like I say this so often, but it's funny how things change and how quickly they do. Funny how quickly people lose each other and forget the good things and focus only on the bad. How quick people are to point fingers, and how happy they are to wish ill on you. It's the human condition. We are all set on speaking of the bad before the good, gossiping, and denying what we've said when it finally catches up to us. If you admit to it, you're the bad guy. If you don't everyone continues being civil because that's the way the wheel spins. We say things we don't mean and they're taken as true, we voice our opinion and then hide it away somewhere untouchable out of fear of it being known. Every newspaper, magazine and online article of any real popularity is bursting with degrading and negative comments. There are the few people who aim to heal the world, to help to poor and feed the hungry and that's wonderful. Truly I think you are some of the strongest people in the world, but please many of you need to learn to treat the people you see everyday with respect. You don't just need to be nice to those in need and cautious of them. If you can't go a day without gossiping about people and hearing "through the grape vines" about another's personal business I have just as much respect for you as I do for those who only gossip. Which I promise you is very little.

So once I wrap my head around all of this, once I've stopped spinning and I'm back on my feet again I'll give you a call. But don't wait for me. If you're smart you'll do what the rest of them have done and you'll walk away. It's a safer option most of the time, and this isn't an exception to that.

- xx, Kelly.