I hate finding things you're not supposed to know about. I only ever looked for my Christmas presents once and when I found them I felt awful. I felt empty and like I'd ruined something special when it turned out to be a Santa present and I knew it was there all along. Sometimes those things you accidentally stumble upon are big enough to reduce you to tears. Sometimes they pick apart old wounds and draw out your insecurities. Sometimes they make you aware of the ripple effect of your actions. Today I found something and now I don't know what to say. Other than I'm so sorry a million times over. Hurting you was never something I intended to do, I hope you know that and I hope you understand that I do truly mean it. Whether you find this the way I found you or not is essentially irrelevant at this point. What is in the past cannot be changed, I just wish I'd known.
I'm sorry love, there was no harm intended. Sometimes things don't work out the way you'd like them to and sometimes a good thing comes to a bad end.
- xx, Kelly.
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