This Clock Never Seemed So Alive...

I think it's funny how much people focus on being liked. We are social beings so of course we want to have friends. I'm not saying that we should all want to be introverted and spend 90% of our time alone, but people change so much when they think someone would rather be without them. A person could spend days telling you how little time they have for another, but the moment they suspect that the feeling is mutual - that the dislike is, in fact, felt from both ends - they obsess over mending the strained relationship.

Because it was okay for them to say rude things and ignore someone, but it stopped being okay when it happened the other way around. Because it was no problem when they called the shots, but with that power taken away they can't handle the pressure. Because some people can't imagine having to sit by themselves. Can't imagine having only one person to turn to and they can't imagine having to fend for themselves in a place where the odds are stacked against them.

I've been the one who's being unwillingly alone over and over again from one time to another and I have to say I'm okay with it. When personalities clash, experiences are wildly different, and opinions are incoherent it doesn't make sense to push a friendship. If we could get along we would've. And as much fun as it is running around worrying about what you think of me, I'm much happier knowing that I don't think about you. And your opinion, though likely valid, doesn't phase me. Sure, this is harder than it sounds, and of course it means you'll sit by yourself on weekends occasionally (or far more often than you would like). But this also means that when you find friends, which you inevitably will, they wont fade away or flit off to someone more interesting.

And if they do, you'll just keep moving forward.
You're far to valuable to waste energy worrying when they're not concerned about you.
Fight for what can and should be, not what should've never been in the first place.

- xx, K.