I'll Give You Some Free Advice...

of my heart, of my head, of my life, of my bed.

- xx, Kelly.

When Push Comes To Shove...

I want to scream

I NEVER NEEDED YOU.

Oooh, it feels

so good

to get that out there.

Guess what?

I'm serious, too.

Guess it just feels

TOO GOOD

not to smile,

say buh-bye,

sing along at the top of my lungs,

dance around by myself,

be happy.

- xx, Kelly.

I Can't Stand You...

I seem to spend half of my time in cabs, going from one place to another. Going going going. I find that I get a lot of my thinking done in these cabs. I guess it's worth the cost of the ride.

Tonight, I was thinking about friends. How much I love and care about some of them, and how there are others that I'm not sure how to handle.

It's a funny thing, the girls you would have always thought you wanted to be friends with always turn into something interesting. Interesting being my nice way of saying a problem. The problem with this problem, is that it snowballs.

I'm always the girl who laughs off the bitchy comments, mean jokes and being made fun of. I make jokes right back, laugh with them, or ignore the implications. The problem is that unlike your average pushover, I only take so much.

I refuse to take shit from people who have no reason to be mad at me, I hate gossip and catty girls, and I hate boys who take advantage of it all. I hate when girls you always believed to be nice turn out as something different, but it's already too late. I hate how girls always seem to change who they are when they're with guys. I can't stand when they leave you at home alone, or when you hear a nasty rumour about yourself, and you get that sinking feeling in your stomach because the only person you told about that is you 'friend'.

I guess I don't like much, but I'm glad that the girls I truly consider my friends aren't like this. Love you girls.

- xx, Kelly.

#53 talk to her about anything that crosses your mind

Screaming Inside...

I'm having one of those days, the ones where you will never put words to it. I'm beyond happy, but there is something little in the back of my mind that doesn't want me to be.

Well. I say fuck that, I'm leaving and I'm planning on causing problems, going out, and having a bast.

You can't hold me back.

So here's to letting go, because even when you're not holding on to much, it feels so good to say 'screw that' and live a little.

Well, I'm definitely living a little.

- xx, Kelly.

#52 tell her she always looks beautiful

She Would Never Let Herself Fall Again...

Somewhere out there, is someone just for me.

I can't avoid the stupid boys that take and break my heart. But, I'll never stop picking up the pieces and moving forward. Because I know he's out there somewhere. And whether I find him now or much later, I wont stop looking, and I wont stop leaving the guys who treat me like shit.

Maybe my standards are too high, maybe I'm too picky, maybe I look for too much. But maybe I just know what will work. Maybe, just maybe, once someone fits all the 'criteria' I'll fit all of theirs.

I'll do a little waiting, a little looking. Maybe I'll never stop.

I guess thats a chance I'll have to take.

- xx, Kelly.

#51 hold her hand, hug her and flirt with her when you're with your friends

Don't Call Me Baby Anymore...

Feelings are a funny thing. They change so quickly, whether you have control of them or not.

Yesterday's thoughts:

There's a little knot in the middle of my lungs, and it's making it really difficult to breathe.
Once a snake, always a snake.
I told myself, I'm the rule, never the exception. Of course my little heart decided today was the day not to listen to my head.

Today's thoughts:

It really doesn't matter what he does or says anymore. Sure, he'll occupy some thoughts still, I may not be fully over him, but I'm about as close as it's going to get. As Hannah Montana, the unbelievably annoying 'star' says, "life's what you make it." I may not have any respect for her, but I like that line.
You have to go with what you've got, know that you're worth the world, and make things happen. Accept defeat, but not failure. Strive for the best, prepare for the worst. Be realistic, not pessimistic.

Today is today is today is today. Yesterday is gone, you'll never get it back. Tomorrow will come, but only after today.

Don't waste time waiting when you could be making things happen.

A word of advice: If it's not worth it, don't let it drag you down. You know in your heart whether it is or isn't.

- xx, Kelly.

#50 tickle her, hold her, hug her