No One Has To Know...

I hate these words. They allows us on so many occasions to forget our morals, and do something we wouldn't dream of doing in the light of day. Maybe it's something small, like a message to someone or sharing a secret, maybe it's a kiss, maybe it's a feeling, maybe it's an offence.

Do we ever consider the fact that someone is always going to know? You can't do anything in this life that doesn't at least slightly effect someone else. It's the ripple effect. It's everywhere.

Now, what if I told you a story of a boy I knew. It's a story of boy meets girl, but I'll tell you right now it is not a love story. It is a story that has haunted the girl since since, and hopefully by telling you it will be let go, in a sense.

One night, after a little too much, this boy met a girl, and when I say met I really mean got to know her fairly well. He started talking to her more and more, told his friends he really was into her [however believable/unbelievable that is] and I guess he really started to consider it.

One night, after a lot of fun, stress, and flirting, this girl met a boy, and when I say met I really mean got to know him fairly well. She started talking to him more and more, even though it stood in the way of a good friendship [something that shouldn't have happened but did] she started to like the boy.

That was the beginning.

One night, at the boy's house, the girl and her friends were all hanging out with the boy and his friends. It was a fun night, and ended with the call of a cab. As the girl stood up to go outside to her cab, the boy stopped her and said he would go upstairs with her. She told him she was leaving, but he said she still had 5 minutes [an old trick] before the cab would be there, and he would keep her company upstairs.

That was after the end, and a painful reminder of feeling that weren't gone.

That night, the boy walked the girl to the cab, said goodbye, and that was that. He went back inside where their other friends were.

That was before the girl's feelings towards the boy had ever gone away.

The next morning, the girl found out something that made her hurt so so much, in her heart, her lungs and her stomach. She ached on the inside, her anxiety attacked her stomach, and she had to concentrate on breathing. Now, I couldn't tell you if it was anger that took over the girl, or maybe a sense of betrayal, or loss of trust, but it was definitely something strong.

That was after the real end.

The night before, after the girl left the boy on the front step of his house, he went back to her friends and met two of her friends, when i say met i really mean got to know them fairly well.

This boy is the classic example of "no one has to know..." its what he tells them all, thats what he told me, thats how I justified it, thats how these friends justified it.

A word of advice: if someone says no one has to know, everyone is going to know. You can't expect it to stay quiet. I wont keep those secrets quiet, so sorry, but sometimes it's karma enough to let that out. Don't do it if you can't handle what it will bring the next morning.

I've made my mistakes, but I will never expect that to be kept quiet. I never asked you to patronize me and tell me everything I did wrong, thats not your problem so get the fuck out of it. I wont patronize you, thats not my problem and I want nothing to do with it. But do me a favour, grow up and realize you can't hide things forever, and after what you have done to me I wont hide that for a second.

- xx, Kelly.