Predictably Yours...

I seem to have had this conversation with a number of people in the last week or so, and thus it is making its appearance here. Eight times out of ten, I'll say and do things that a person who knows me well enough could expect. I like certain things, I eat a certain way and my responses to questions go one of two ways - factual or dripping with sarcasm. But, that two of ten is what confuses people. I'm not 'textbook' anything, really. There are the people who are laid back, there are those of the up-tight variety, jocks, princesses, organized, messy, active and lazy. I feel like everyone I talk to adds a different category to the list of which I fit in to. Some people dress casually, some are always done up, some are edgy, boho, preppy, sloppy.. and each combination defines each person. Some listen to what plays on the radio, some rock, indie, dubstep, country, alternative, classical, soul..

I guess the decisions a person makes and tastes a person has dictate a lot of these things, and the essence of who they are. Now before you go saying, "but these are material" or "what you listen to or how you dress doesn't define you" read a little further. We surround ourselves with the things we like and the things we appreciate. If you are extremely active and half of your wardrobe is sports gear that says something about you. You're focused, for one. These material things say a lot about you. Maybe you don't see it. Maybe you don't want to. Even the emphasis we put on these things says something. We all fit a certain mould, think and act a certain way, and we all break free of these moulds to one degree or another.

I just think it's interesting to see how much we define ourselves by these norms, or how much we define ourselves from the very same norms.

- xx, K.

You're All Here For The Very Same Reason...

In your life you will meet hundreds of thousands of different people. Some in passing, others you will get to know intimately. Each of these people will lead a different life with unique experiences, opinions and priorities. Those who's views compliment yours will become friends, and those who conflict yours will remain acquaintances. These conflicting people may have a lot or a little to say, and may have a great or a small impact on your life - no matter the gravity it is important to remember not to take their words to heart.

There are a lot of lessons I have learned in the past couple years, one of which is that you are only worth as much as your are willing to stand up for. Though it may be uncomfortable, and it may make you nervous it is important to stand up for yourself when it is necessary. It is important to deal with conflict and it is important to learn to do these things in a respectful manner.

To those of you whom spend your time using your words to hurt those around you - I'd have to ask why? Why is it necessary? We're all human. We all have these emotions and none of us are perfect; the same things coming from another's mouth and directed at you would hurt you, so why would you so purposefully do that someone else? We all make our share of mistakes and we're all learning, so keep that in mind when you speak. If what you have to say is still warranted, by all means, say it.

To those of you whom spend your time using your words to heal the scars left by the inconsiderate - you are so greatly appreciated. The little things do make a difference. A smile on the street, a door held, an unexpected compliment - these are all such minor actions but they can have a major impact. Even greater, though, are the pep talks, the support and blind loyalty that can be given. Your words, actions and kindness are all valued deeply.

Thank you, to all of you who have shaped me to be who I am, through the good, the bad and the ugly. However, even more so I thank those of you who have been kind, those of you who are willing to ruffle a few feathers in order to stand up for yourselves, and those of you who have stuck by me when it was easy to do the opposite. I'm not perfect, but neither are you. We're all just learning and we have a long and winding road ahead of us. I've learned how important it is to remain aware of and gracious of the loyal people in this life.

- xx, Kelly. 

I've Got To Know That She Can Save Me...

This world, this life, this city. This wonderful, magical whirlwind of action and anticipation that we all call home. On a beautiful sunny day, in the wind, the rain, the sleet, the hail. The intertwined paths we all walk, the knitted circles of life, and the spiral of new decisions and new knowledge meeting old. This fabulous place that we have created. We are, like each before us, bursting with potential and aspirations. We are, like each before us, counting down the seconds until we are unleashed. We are, like each before us, wrapped up in our minds and awaiting our chance to make mistakes and create disasters and masterpieces. We are unlike each before us, and in our own persons we will find new joys and despairs, successes and trifles, beginnings and ends.

And our end together is on the horizon. It is coming time to step in our own directions, moving out towards reality and into a inconsiderate and selfish world. Don't let this change you. Don't let those little green monsters adopt your heart and don't let yourself forget who you were and who you imagined you would become. It is in naïveté that we are able to believe in the good of others and strive to portray the good in ourselves. It will keep getting harder, but it is something worth working for.

- xx, Kelly.

Praise For The Springing Fresh From The World...

I tried to write in a card to say Happy Father's Day to you, but I found I didn't know what to thank you for or where to begin. Did it say enough in a couple examples, like the hours you spent driving me from one place to another without a complaint, the time and energy you invested in helping me reach my goals, the support you give which is entirely unwavering? Or would a general statement, I could have never asked for a better father, mentor and fan than what God has blessed me with and I hope you know that I love, respect and admire you wholeheartedly, be sufficient? Sitting thinking about you and everything you've done for me brings back so many memories; trips to Florida and learning to swim, late nights at the barn, learning to ride my bike and throw a football and hit a golf ball, helping you build things and listening to stories and lessons that have shaped me as a person.

Staring, still, at a blank card. 

From the bottom of my heart, I love you dad; you are an amazingly inspiring person, I cannot begin to explain how much I appreciate everything you are constantly willing to do for me and how much I respect and admire you for the hard decisions you have made and the commitments and loyalty you uphold. 

- xx, Kelly.

I'll Keep My Eyes Fixed On The Sun...

Who do you think you are to believe I owe you anything. That I would go out on a limb for you, that I would do you a favour after the 'favours' you've done me? Why is it that you believe you can treat someone like shit and when you 'forgive' them for the things you have decided were wrong, you expect gifts from them in return? Are you really that certain you're incapable of doing wrong? Or do you just choose to forget all those lovely things you said to me just months ago. Because even though you have forgiven me, I have received no apology. And you better believe I wont forget those words - that was the point though, wasn't it? Didn't you do it to 'put me in my place' or at the very least to make your opinions of me known, in the only way you know, loud and clear? 

So please, please next time you make decisions about me, remember this. 

Remember that I don't take personal attacks lightly. 

Remember that I don't need you in any way.

Remember that I'm counting down the days until I never have to see you again.

- xx, Kelly.

Over Rivers, Farms, And State-Lines...

There is no telling how many miles you will have to run when chasing a dream. There is no rule that dictates why or who will be the best, no single way of getting there. In a world where everyone chases similar goals, everyone seems to be so hung up on net worth and international ranking we forget the little things. Someone will win. Someone will lose. Both are essential, and we are the only ones dictating which role we play. Even the wealthiest men and women in the world have their fair share of problems. Happiness is truly not attained in wealth, though one may be misguided to believe it is easier. Those who always want more will not be satisfied with all the wealth the world can give them. The top competitors will get bored of being the best. And in the end we are what we eat, what we leave behind, and what we create for those to come.

So, I guess this is just saying it's time to work for those dreams. Keep running. Push through that wall and don't let rude, belittling, or down right mean people stand in your way. We are all painting a picture of ourselves and in being that way they have put a black streak through the middle of their masterpiece. You will not be handed the things that really count. It takes time and sacrifice and a little luck.

I'm trying. Trying to push past the people who seem to have nothing positive to say. Past those who are here to help but hold their personal agenda in higher standing than anything else. To get to where I want to be - at the top of this pyramid. I'm not there yet, no where near it actually. But I'm still learning and until I know for sure I can't, I'll keep on working.

- xx, Kelly.