A Shot In The Dark That You Just Might...

Sometimes things get confusing. I feel like I start almost every story like this, but you see it just seems to be the only way to explain it. The wonderful, magical, mysterious world we live in is stuffed full of smiles, people, problems.

I lose myself inside my own head. I never really know what I want or what I think. Because you see, I think too much. I think too little. I'm too impulsive. I wait too long. I brush things off too quickly. I take too much to heart. And I do it all knowingly, the problem is that I get so confused in all these things going on at once. I don't know what I want, I don't know if it's right in front of me and I'm about to lose it, or if it's still yet to come. I don't know if I'm doing things right by keeping myself to myself, or if I'm making a mistake.

I'm a person of extreme contrast. In music, in interests, in strengths, in people I choose to surround myself with. But there is one thing that ties it all together with a pretty little bow; everything above is something I surround myself with because I truly do enjoy it. I don't stick around things I don't like, and I hold onto the things that I do. People, places, music - all of it makes me the quirky, slightly odd, and most definitely unique person I am.

- xx, Kelly.

I'm In The Business Of Misery...

9 hours left before day 1 of the end.

I'm literally dreading it. The only bright side? This time next year I wont have this problem, I'll be sitting in a res room writing about the beginning of classes. Not the beginning of hell.

- xx, Kelly.

I Thought I Knew You...

Everyone uses the word love so loosely.

I can't understand the people who date for 2 weeks and then tell their boyfriend or girlfriend that they love them. No, you don't love them. You don't know what you're talking about because if that's love, honey we're all screwed. I'll never comprehend those couples because it's not real. I can't grasp how people are so comfortable saying words that mean so much and treating it like it's nothing. It is something. It does mean a lot. These are not just ordinary words you link together to form everyday sentences.

The people who have been through thick and thin, taken life's blows and managed to come out just as strong if not stronger know what true love is. Those people who have felt lust, felt hurt, felt heartbreak, and recovered are the ones able to determine true love. I really don't believe we are capable of loving anyone aside from family and ourselves when we are young. A strong liking of a person, perhaps, but love is multidimensional and we far too immature to understand love in all it's dimensions.

You may say you love your boyfriend of 6 months, but I highly doubt you know enough of each other to call it love. Romeo and Juliet may have been teenagers when they fell in love, but that was a fairytale. Of course, some will argue there are the exceptions. I like to think of those as accidents - you fell together out of pure luck and to those of you who are of that nature, you're the lucky ones. The rest of us get to struggle to find what you are so certain you have.

- xx, Kelly.

If I Die Tonight, At Least You Thrill Me...

And so it begins…

Everything picks back up and we head back to reality. The reality of tight timetables, late nights and early mornings, assignments and tests, balance and breakdown, of our last year here.

One more year in this lovely place with all these people, good and bad, before we all pack our bag and our memories and head off in different directions forever. Some will stay together, others will fall apart. It's the beginning of an end, of a beginning. It's the last little bit. It's going to be stressful. It's going to be awful and tedious and down right painful at times. It's also going to be fun.

Lets not lose sight of today because that's what is getting you to tomorrow.

- xx, Kelly.

Going To Wish I Had A Storm Warning...

Off I go again.

Next stop: the UK.

- xx, Kelly.

ps. new favourite song - Storm Warning by Hunter Hayes

We See What We Want...

Shit always seems to happen to me. I don't know, I guess anyone can say that but it seriously seems that I always manage to twist things so they turn into big dilemmas.

I mean don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way.

For starters, beginning of the summer there was this guy. Cute, funny, musical and quiet. He was intriguing and I couldn't quite figure him out. Well, I was told that he was going away for the whole summer starting the next week and that he'd be gone until september so when he attempted to kiss me I turned away. Who the fuck knows whether that was the right thing to do or not, I sure as hell don't, what I do know though is that this story doesn't feel like it's over yet.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, met a really nice guy, ended up hooking up with him which was lovely - no strings, no issues, well.. except family ties of sorts. The thing is that I'm bored of that. He's not someone I'd ever date and even though he's a genuinely good guy I couldn't stand being stuck with him for very long.

And it comes back to my first point I believe - I get bored so easily that I have to find something to entertain myself. So I make things interesting. I twist and turn and run and wait and go after things. I make mistakes, take risks and fall hard and spend my time as actively as I can. I do what I think is right and

I mean don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way..

- xx, Kelly.