Baby, Come On Home...

This is something new for me, and although there are a million and one other things I need to be doing right now, I can't focus on anything until I put this out there. Wherever there is.

I can't ever seem to figure out a proper balance between good and bad. I find everything flows back and forth. I roll along with the tide until I get pushed into the reality of the unforgiving shore. Then, slowly, I am pulled back under, and when I emerge, there is sun and blue skies and miles between the shore and I. And until I am again caught off guard, I am calm and happy and relaxed in my paradise among the waves and the sun.

The issue, I'd like to say is you but unfortunately, is me. I'm good at picking the things I shouldn't. I'm not one for easy decisions, and even when I think I'm making one, making a safe decision and doing the right thing, I find there is always a catch.

Well, this is no different. I am a person who make decisions quickly it may seem. But I wait, and I think for a long time before I do anything. It's after all of this time, after I've had the ability to really know what I'm doing, that I make my decision. And I stick to it.

I struggle at times because most people don't make their choices this way. Lucky for them, because that makes life easier, but it doesn't help when other things, the unexpected phone call, the "hey I've missed you" text from someone you've been meaning to forget.

The truth is, I expect the worst. And maybe it's just (more than maybe, it probably is) me looking at the worst case. Maybe I'm over reacting and maybe I'm being silly. But this happens a lot to me. I'm not sure why and I'm not sure what to do to change it.

So I'll wait. I'll wait because, at least this time, I want to wait. I want to see you prove me wrong. More than I have ever before, actually.

I've done shitty relationships. I've done random encounters that mean nothing. I've done crying over boys and I've done laughing at mistakes that really are entertaining. But this time I want something different. I've never done functional, fun and exciting. I've never done commitment that doesn't leave me feeling empty. And the prospect of that, the prospect of wanting that is exciting.

So prove me wrong. I dare you.

- xx, K.

Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind...

My dears,

Let me start off by telling you how special you are. And please, do take what I have to say in the next few lines to heart.

You under value yourself; when you look in the mirror at the beginning and end of each day, know that the girl looking back at you is smart, she is beautiful, and she is one of a kind. She is irreplaceable. And that is something you must never forget. Because for every girl you look at and hold more highly, for one reason or another, than yourself there is a girl who thinks the same of you.

You must remember that for every bad day, every shitty person you meet and experience you have you are learning, each of these people are creating you with good and bad examples. Each of these unfortunate situations build character and are balanced out by the good times and good people you will inevitably meet.

You should always remember how much you all worth, remember to be kind to others, and remember to make the best decisions for you. Value yourself, embrace your beauty and grow confident and secure with who you are. Because we can all see just how wonderful you are, but unless you can learn to see it too it means nothing at all.

Let me finish this off by telling you how special you are. And please, take the time to see it in yourself too.

Yours Truly,

- xx, K.