I'll Stay With You...

Everyone has different goals, different end results that constitute what they deem 'the good life'. It is these differences that keep us from losing our purpose - if each person wanted all the same things are we really individuals at all? But in these diverse beings is an innate longing, a need one could say, for a few main things.

We all search for love. We search for happiness. We  search for comfort, and ease and practicality  We all look for and find these things in different places, but the search is universal.

We all long to be appreciated, for the work we do and for being the person that we are. At the end of the day, no face we put on is what we want to be most appreciated for.

Each person deems happiness to require different things. To some, the pursuit of knowledge, of creating new things and discovering new ideas is what constitutes happiness. To others, beautiful cars and expensive homes are a means to happiness. No matter the path taken, we all are searching the way we know best.

I find the more time I spend thinking, the luckier I feel to have had the upbringing and the schooling that I did. I was taught from a very young age that the most important things, and the best way to really come into yourself as a person is by learning to give. We are all born with the innate capability to want and to need, but to sacrifice and to give are learned traits that don't come naturally. These things take time, they take practise and they take a lot of learning the hard way about how much it sucks to be on the receiving end of being denied this.

In terms of love: maybe searching for love is our problem. Maybe this is something that comes when we learn to love ourselves. and maybe, just maybe we just have to be patient and wait it out. I am the first to admit that this prospect sucks, but the most unexpected things are usually the best.

My thoughts, whatever they're worth, for the night

- xx, Kelly.

Touch The Sky...

Post number one of the now 5th year I have had this space, this home to my thoughts and confusions and arguments that make up the tug-of-war that goes on from one day to the next in my head. This place where I have been able to vent and rant and discuss topics that interest, bother or trouble me.

Its amazing, looking back, because I remember the things I wrote five years ago so clearly. Those feelings, those situations and those posts come back to me with ease. I started this blog for no one but myself. I created it as a place to empty my thoughts and concerns and to remind me of these things years later when the memories were not quite so fresh in my mind. I created it to allow me to focus on today, with the security that past memories were safe and could always be reflected upon.

In the past five years a lot has changes; from schools to horses to friends to boyfriends, not to mention my opinion and outlook has grown and become far more developed. I am, technically speaking anyways, an adult now. My preferences have changed, my mind has opened, my understanding of who I am is strong. I have growing to do still, however I know I will be just fine no matter where I end up. I know that I will succeed at what I put my mind to and that no matter where in the world I end up I will make my time there worthwhile and enjoyable.

It took these five years of growing to get me here. All my successes, my failures, my mistakes, my hard work, my insecurities and my lucky guesses. These have created me as I am.

Welcome to 2013; a year in which we have infinite potential if only we focus and use it to the best of our capabilities. This is no different than 2012, but something tells me I'm going to work a little harder in the next 12 months.

You don't have to just take my word for it, however. I'll be here to prove it.

- xx, Kelly.