City Lights On The Water...

What is the very first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word freedom?

Open water, flying, moving out, finishing school, late nights with no curfew, teenage years, university, leaving the country, starting fresh?

And, well, what is freedom?

I find it's a question, one of many actually, that I'll never have the answer to.

There are many places I've been where I've felt free.

Driving at night on the country roads, the barn, scuba diving, walking down the beach barefoot, yoga in the sun, sailing, even sitting out front of my house when the street is quite at 2am.

That little tug, almost excitement, that calms you - it is quite possibly the strangest most indescribable feeling; it is also quite possibly the greatest most beautifully serene feeling.

That, is what I consider freedom.

The feeling that at this very moment, I'm not worried, no one can touch me, I am happy. That second of total inner peace. That is freedom to me.

- xx, Kelly.

#58 tell her you miss her when you miss her, tell her you love her if you love her, don't tell her you miss or love her if you aren't sure you do

The Way I See It...

nothing more, nothing less.

- xx, Kelly.

#57 pick her up, like in the Notebook, and kiss her

Sometimes...

I like to think, I know everyone is always thinking it's part of our nature, but i like to think about things people don't usually seem to stop and take time for.

I like to slow down,

even just for a couple seconds,

and scribble down those arbitrary thoughts that clutter the back of my mind.

What is love, do we really live for it?

Who am I?

Where does everything go?

Why does time always leave us behind, without going anywhere?

Anxiety, why do you always make your appearance at the worst times?

Why do we trick ourselves into playing silly games?

Why does music mean so much to us? And art?

What would I do without all of this?

Who would I be if I didn't question everything around me?

What makes anyone special?

What makes anyone ordinary?

Who would I be if I knew the answer to even one of these questions?

I guess I couldn't tell you.

And I guess thats okay with me,

I like me the way I am.

- xx, Kelly.

#56 kiss her in the rain

Like An Hourglass Glued To The Table...

There are certain things you can never go back on.

In life, we can never undo what we've done - there is no rewind button. Each decision, every movement, word, thought is final. There is no way to go back on it. It is what it is. We are who we are, because no one can take anything away from us.

Whether we are proud of who we are, regret decisions, words, thoughts, they are what make us, us. Individuals. Isn't that what everyone strives to be? Original, individual, your own person.. unique?

Well, if you think about it, we really are all special, unique, individual thinking persons. No matter what teachers tell you. No english teacher will ever convince me I have nothing worthwhile to say. No professor, dean, employer can tell me that I'm no different from all the rest. Because, you see, I know in my heart of hearts that I am myself. I know, no one will ever replace me, and I can never replace someone else. I am different, special, individual, and unique.

Try telling me I'm not, I dare you.

It's not as if I'll listen.

- xx, Kelly.

#55 surprise her

You're Paper Thin, And It's Visible...

I think every girl has thought this.

It's always funny when the boy admits to it though..

Thank you boys, for the slap in the face, and then the reminder that you did it intentionally.

And this, dear friends, is why I'm quitting boys.

... okay, i say that everyday but I swear, it'll happen.

Eventually.

- xx, Kelly.

#54 brush her hair away from her face before you kiss her

I'll Give You Some Free Advice...

of my heart, of my head, of my life, of my bed.

- xx, Kelly.

When Push Comes To Shove...

I want to scream

I NEVER NEEDED YOU.

Oooh, it feels

so good

to get that out there.

Guess what?

I'm serious, too.

Guess it just feels

TOO GOOD

not to smile,

say buh-bye,

sing along at the top of my lungs,

dance around by myself,

be happy.

- xx, Kelly.

I Can't Stand You...

I seem to spend half of my time in cabs, going from one place to another. Going going going. I find that I get a lot of my thinking done in these cabs. I guess it's worth the cost of the ride.

Tonight, I was thinking about friends. How much I love and care about some of them, and how there are others that I'm not sure how to handle.

It's a funny thing, the girls you would have always thought you wanted to be friends with always turn into something interesting. Interesting being my nice way of saying a problem. The problem with this problem, is that it snowballs.

I'm always the girl who laughs off the bitchy comments, mean jokes and being made fun of. I make jokes right back, laugh with them, or ignore the implications. The problem is that unlike your average pushover, I only take so much.

I refuse to take shit from people who have no reason to be mad at me, I hate gossip and catty girls, and I hate boys who take advantage of it all. I hate when girls you always believed to be nice turn out as something different, but it's already too late. I hate how girls always seem to change who they are when they're with guys. I can't stand when they leave you at home alone, or when you hear a nasty rumour about yourself, and you get that sinking feeling in your stomach because the only person you told about that is you 'friend'.

I guess I don't like much, but I'm glad that the girls I truly consider my friends aren't like this. Love you girls.

- xx, Kelly.

#53 talk to her about anything that crosses your mind

Screaming Inside...

I'm having one of those days, the ones where you will never put words to it. I'm beyond happy, but there is something little in the back of my mind that doesn't want me to be.

Well. I say fuck that, I'm leaving and I'm planning on causing problems, going out, and having a bast.

You can't hold me back.

So here's to letting go, because even when you're not holding on to much, it feels so good to say 'screw that' and live a little.

Well, I'm definitely living a little.

- xx, Kelly.

#52 tell her she always looks beautiful

She Would Never Let Herself Fall Again...

Somewhere out there, is someone just for me.

I can't avoid the stupid boys that take and break my heart. But, I'll never stop picking up the pieces and moving forward. Because I know he's out there somewhere. And whether I find him now or much later, I wont stop looking, and I wont stop leaving the guys who treat me like shit.

Maybe my standards are too high, maybe I'm too picky, maybe I look for too much. But maybe I just know what will work. Maybe, just maybe, once someone fits all the 'criteria' I'll fit all of theirs.

I'll do a little waiting, a little looking. Maybe I'll never stop.

I guess thats a chance I'll have to take.

- xx, Kelly.

#51 hold her hand, hug her and flirt with her when you're with your friends

Don't Call Me Baby Anymore...

Feelings are a funny thing. They change so quickly, whether you have control of them or not.

Yesterday's thoughts:

There's a little knot in the middle of my lungs, and it's making it really difficult to breathe.
Once a snake, always a snake.
I told myself, I'm the rule, never the exception. Of course my little heart decided today was the day not to listen to my head.

Today's thoughts:

It really doesn't matter what he does or says anymore. Sure, he'll occupy some thoughts still, I may not be fully over him, but I'm about as close as it's going to get. As Hannah Montana, the unbelievably annoying 'star' says, "life's what you make it." I may not have any respect for her, but I like that line.
You have to go with what you've got, know that you're worth the world, and make things happen. Accept defeat, but not failure. Strive for the best, prepare for the worst. Be realistic, not pessimistic.

Today is today is today is today. Yesterday is gone, you'll never get it back. Tomorrow will come, but only after today.

Don't waste time waiting when you could be making things happen.

A word of advice: If it's not worth it, don't let it drag you down. You know in your heart whether it is or isn't.

- xx, Kelly.

#50 tickle her, hold her, hug her