When You Hit The Coast, I Hope You Think Of Me...

I have a bit of an obsession with country music, but strangely, right now I'm loooving Boys Like Girls, and The Maine. So Much.

Favorites Right Now?

Heels Over Head - Boys Like Girls

We Change, We Wait - and - The Town's Been Talkin' - The Maine

Of Course, the entire album(s) are amazing, especially the Maine, love all of their stuff.

This weekend was busybusybusy, as I had expected. Friday night was fun, met my physiotherapist's son.. strange because I was really no expecting it, and weirder because he was a total jackass. Not what I was expecting, considering his dad is super friendly. Kristine and Darcy met a couple of cute boys, and Kelsey and I let them do their thing and walked around talking, waiting, etc. Lots of fun, no need for boys when you have friends like these girls, and, of course, horses.

Saturday and Sunday was dedicated to horseback riding. Saturday Cassie, another girl and I got horses ready, rode, and packed so when the trailer got there at 5am the next morning we'd be ready to load. Sunday I got to the barn around 5am, got the horses loaded and were at the show by around 6am. Unfortunately, the girl I was trailering with had to be at the show that early because her horse has a hard time keeping its head on its shoulders, and her ride times were around 9am. My first ride wasn't until 2:34pm, meaning that, because we didn't have stalls for our horses, I was standing outside holding my horse for 7 hours before I could even start warming up.

Ooh well, the day was still a sucess! We showed a level above what we'd been doing before and came 1st and 1st.

I've talked to Tiffany a bit since she got back from her trip to visit Chicago, sounds like she had lots of fun! I'll see if she's got any good stories for me, and post more later.

- xx, Kelly.

#34 if she's upset, comfort her

ps. 8 school days, and counting. Summer, here we come..

It's Just A Dance Hall Drug...

Ooooh dear - this is not only a busy week, but it's leading up to a busy weekend. Tomorrow I'll be at the barn riding, and starting to pack for the show sunday, and then meeting up with Kelsey, Kristine, Darcy, Sarah, hopefully Chloe, and more. Saturday I'm at the barn, again, riding, finishing packing and then show prep - bath time for the horses, etc. and then a sleepover at Cassie's house so we can get the horses on the trailer for 6am Sunday morning. Yaaay.. Oh well, I'm sososooo excited to start showing again [the gap between seasons is toooo big!] and Monday is a holiday so it's all good, I'll catch up on sleep then.

Tiffany is out visiting Chicago, I was supposed to go with her, until I realized it was the same weekend as this show. Ooh well, I should see them both in June, so I can wait.

Found out yesterday[I think it was yesterday?] that the parentals are thinking of getting another car, technically another family car, but majorly for me because of the barn I ride at outside of the city. Of course, without asking me for my input, they found my favorite car, and are thinking of getting it. YES. Good choice mum and dad!

- xx, Kelly.

#33 kiss her on the cheek - it gives her the hint that you want to kiss her

I Must Be Dreaming...

When I was little, I watched Cinderella and The Little Mermaid a thousand times over. Now that I think about it, think about how badly I wanted to be a princess, wear the gorgeous dresses and the shoe. Oooh, the shoes. How meeting a prince would be fine, and how lovely it would all be. And I wondered about Ariel, how brilliant it would be to breath underwater. To seek out the depths of the ocean, to make friends with the starfish and the sea horses. I find it amazing that it was all

that simple.

I want to get back to that, get back to being easily amused by even the smallest wonders, get back to being able to pretend I am everything and anything I want to be.

So here is to throwing judgement to the wind, and letting yourself go, letting yourself fall, and letting yourself free.

- xx, Kelly.

#32 when you are alone, hold her close and kiss her

Hold My Breath, And Count To Ten...

I'm sure everyone gets it, but tonight I'm definitely feeling it. It being that strange feeling you get when you wonder, "Why are they all so happy? All those gorgeous couples you see in the movies, why can't I have that?" Well, i guess the pessimist in me would say it's because this is reality. The romance you see in the movies, stays in the movies. There is not happy ending, every story has it's ripped and stained pages. People hurt each other, divorce is more likely than anything else, and we've gotten to the point where it goes unnoticed.

Now, the optimist want to say, Why can't we have that? Is it so wrong to want that happily ever after..? What about that fraction of a percent that has exactly that?

Aaah yes, this is why I refuse to watch romantic movies. I'll be sticking to action movies and documentaries from now on,

thank you very much.

A looottt has happened since I posted last week [I honestly can't believe it's only been a week]. First of all, things have worked out between myself and all of the people I indirectly mentioned. Second, things have been getting exciting! School is out in 1 month -1 day, and counting! Exams will be hell, especially because the 'rents are bribing me with a lovely little present, so long as my grades are good enough.

Next, I've been figuring out my summer, which I had been beginning to think was going to be boring, boy was I wrong. I'm going to be competing at a couple national shows, one a month, on 2 horses [it'll be interesting juggling riding the two of them twice every day of each show], I'll be doing a bunch of littler shows in between those as well, along with working. August I could end up in another province for competitions, and in september we're hoping for a week and a half long trip to the US. I think the only thing that keeps my parents OKAY with this is that I have an apartment at my disposal up north. They're quite pleased that they wont have to deal with the 4am wake up calls to get me out to the barn in time!

- xx, Kelly.

#31 hold her close to you

Two Is Better Than One...

I LOVE CHLOE!!!

- xx, Chloe.

I'm Here, So Put Me In Your Plans...

Oooh birthdays. The one day you can cry, celebrate, hate, love, be nice, get even. What would a birthday be without some sort of blow up? A fairy tale? A lie..?

Well, lets see, someone wasn't happy with my last post and in the final hours of what seemed to be the perfect birthday, they were able to keep the old tradition running!

Good birthdays - 1 [my first birthday couldn't have been that bad?]

Ruined birthdays - too many

In my last post I was hurting, done with hiding, maybe a little mad, fed up, and letting things go. I'm not going to sit here and tell you I did nothing wrong, I was and am fully aware that people may not like what I had/have to say. But emotion is emotion - just because you don't like it doesn't mean I stop feeling it.

I can't imagine living life as one of those girls who strives to keep everyone happy. Doesn't that get tiring? How do you feel like you're living to your full potential if all you're accomplishing is keeping queen bee happy? I mean, I don't purposefully go out of my way to make people upset, but I'm not going to get walked all over, I'm not going to wait around forever and I'm not going to throw my emotions to the side for the good of everyone else. That can be someone else's job. I'm happy the way I deal with problems for the most part - yes, I hold grudges when it comes to things that have an impact - but isn't that normal? Is it really that wrong to feel like you really can't be best friends with everyone?

Anyways, all-in-all it was a pretty god day. I know who my true friends are, whether they realize it or not, and I found the girl I used to be [I'm not sure everyone would think this is good] and I'm not going to loose her confidence.

- xx, Kelly.

#30 be there for her when she needs you, and when she doesn't

Can't Stop, Wont Stop...

Today [instead of doing homework, which was potentially a bad idea] I read a few really amazing blogs. I've realized, compared to these people I don't have anything greatly philosophical to say, no life lessons, there aren't usually morals to my stories, nothing of that sort. I don't consider myself greatly creative - I can't express how I really feel in words, I've never done well in english. I don't write songs, or poetry, or even fairy tales. So much of that creativity was taken away when I was little and someone laughed at what I had to say. I learned to be practical, to fight smart, not with emotion. I learned the most effective way to get to someone without embarrassing myself. I don't let my emotions get "out of check". I've never felt love [outside of family] and I'm not sure I know how to love someone outside of my family. I know, it's not like I've come to the end of my life, I'm on high school for God's sake, but sometimes I wish I was different. I wish I was one of these girls that believed in people enough to give away her heart - risk getting hurt, and then pick herself back up and do it again.

I'm not that girl who falls for any boy who tells her she's beautiful and I don't waste my time on people who screw me over. I'm not a hopeless romantic - in fact I can't stand romantic movies, or mushy conversations. I love this blog because it comes with so much freedom - I don't have to constantly look over my shoulder, I write, whether it matters in the greater scheme of things or not,

I write.

So many things in my life have to be kept in check - why can't I be excited and let the world know I'm happy? Well, most people don't want to hear it, and those who do, I can't tell. C'est la vie? God, I hope not.

So I'll tell you who I really am - I love animals - I have pets, a dog, rats [yes, you got that right, two rats] and horses that I love dearly. I'm an equestrienne, I haven't said it before because I've been afraid. Afraid of what people will think if they read this, afraid I'll have to explain for my self when they realize it's me, afraid they wont approve.

Well guess what? I live in Toronto, I ride at two barns, one of which is here in the city where a horse I've been riding for a year is located, and another outside of the city. I've been beyond excited about the 2nd barn and the amazing horses there but I can't tell anyone - they wont like that I'm riding there. Well guess what? I love it there, I want to compete nationally, and if you wont let me then I'm going somewhere else, some where better than you'll ever be. I go to a tiny little private school filled with fake, bitchy girls I want nothing more then to get away from. I've had a best friend since grade 6 that I now never speak to, no matter how many times I call/text/etc. the favor is never returned. I used to have "barn friends" but now it's more like "barn friends minus Kelly". And you know, as angry as it makes me sometimes, I'm okay. I have real friends. Girls no one could ever replace. And I'll love them forever, because they're friends with me because I'm me, not because I'm pretty, or I'm the life of the party, or I drink until I tell every boy in the room I love them. So here is to me, and the girls that keep me smiling. And to the rest? Fuck you. Fuck you very much.

Happy Birthday To ME.

- xx, Kelly.

#29 text message or call her in the morning, just to say good morning

The Best Part Of Me Was Always You...

This weekend has been such a blur, I've had so little sleep in the past week it's amazing I haven't collapsed and it's not like I've done any less exercise [I haven't had a day where I've done less than 2 hours of exercise since the 22nd of April]

Chloe and I spent the majority of the weekend together, partially why I still haven't had a day without exercise, which was fun. Had my family birthday dinner tonight,which was also good. The cake was amaaaazing. Natalie surfaced from her cave of a bedroom - she hasn't left her room since friday because of a concussion [which came along with a black eye]. Apparently rugby IS pretty dangerous.. who knew?

Birthday is in 2 dayss! I'm excited, but then again it isn't as big of a deal as it used to be, funny how that works.

Okay, this wasn't a very interesting post but it's literally a miracle I can put sentences together at this point - off to Shakespeare I go - God school sucks sometime!

- xx, Kelly.

#28 take her anywhere she wants