We Could Talk It Over, But There Is Nothing Left To Say...

What an eventful past few days, it has truly been the most obscure 5 days ever. Lets start with the fact that I'm supposed to be going away for the weekend with Cassie, Kristie and Mac, which may or may not be happening now. This, is because today, Monday, November 30th, 2009 at 7:30pm my grandma(my mum's mum) passed away. Her unforgiving battle with cancer has ended, which in my heart I know was the best thing that could ever happen. Doesn't keep it from being tough, but I know with the support of my lovely girls, like Jessie and Natalie, it will all be OK.

(Just a Note: My uncle is still a problem. His drinking habits haven't changed one bit. All he is doing is making everyone else's lives more difficult, but it is an illness, and whether he likes it or not, he'll either die a drunk [hopefully not taking anyone with him] or kick the habit. We shall see.)

Then we add the fact that teachers try and squish everything into the last few weeks of school before Christmas, making this unbelievably hectic. For example, I should be writing as essay right now, or studying, or doing anything other then this that is productive. (Haha. Like that will happen)

Anyways, so on saturday I saw Cassie in the afternoon, and then came home for family movie night! Haha, Jessie, Natalie, Caleigh and I all ended up watching Duplicity - SUCH a confusing plot!

Then on sunday I got in a huge fight with my stepdad. It ended in tears, and Natalie and I walked over to her mum's house and stayed there for a bit to let him blow off steam (literally). I don't think anyone has ever yelled at me like that before. Take fear for your life x 10. The stupid thing is that it was over a printer ink cartrdge. Uggh, whatever, its fine. I haven't talked to him since, and really don't want to, but its okay. Its not like we were best friends before anyways.. this just gives me a reason to avoid conversations. He tried to say sorry sunday night, but that wasn't happening. Anyone who blows up about something of that nature, the way he did clearly is not mentally stable.

Lastly, today after school I stayed for a while (which seemed like YEARS) to watch Natalie's school play mine in volleyball. She played against my friend Sarah, who I love to pieces. Sarah is an awsome little volleyball player, and it was fun watching the game. She was like a really adorable little kid the way she went between concentrating on the game, and making fun of our teacher (the coach) within about 2 seconds of each other, hahaha. And of course, our team won. (In all fairness to Nat, they would have done better if she had been played. They played the 2nd string setter out of "fairness" because Nat played all weekend in the tournament and this other girl didn't)

Okay, time to attempt this essay...

- xx, Kelly.

Even The Beautiful Lose Control...

Yesterday I had to present a speech to my class - I chose to do it on the Importance of the Shark. BOMBED IT. haha. I am usually pretty good with public speaking, but I was lazy this year and I didn't learn my speech well enough - oops...

Spent about an hour and a half on the phone with Lola today, She was telling me her current situation:

Lola liked boy 1.

boy 1 gets a girlfriend.

boy 1 = no good anymore.

Lola kind of likes boy 2.

boy 2 just wont work.

Lola = in the same boat as I am.

So I was talking to Cassie (went to see her - it's wednesday, Duuuhhh.. haha) and she was telling me how she was working with Leona Lewis this afternoon! (if you haven't clued in yet - she sings "Bleeding Love" ...) She was in the city for a few days, and just happened to choose Cassie for the help! Apparently shes a lot prettier in person, who knew.

I am so glad I'm going into school lateee tomorrow, I don't know if I would be able to wake up otherwise. Sucks to be those people waking up at 6am tomorrowwww! haha.

- xx, Kelly.

On A Winding Road Headed Nowhere...

I realized that I haven't told you anything about Vikki lately. She has a new boy, who I have yet to meet. Hopefully that happens soon, I mean, he lives closer to me than to her, so how hard can that be?

Natalie and I went on an hour and a half walk tonight. It was perfect - we both had so many things we needed to say, and of course, we both turn to each other to let them out. Shes been having boy problems, though, they're the exact opposite of mine. My problem is that there are no boys. Her problem is that there are too many. Oooh, what I would do to switch places with her right now, haha. I love talking to her, we always end up laughing with and at each other and end up on the most insignificant subjects ever - but I wouldn't have it any other way. We were talking about the guys who live across the street, and how we never see them. So I decided that I'm going to have to figure out who they are once I get through some of this school work!

Oh yes, on that note - I'm still dying. I need to get rid of / at least cut back on some of the things on my schedule. It's hard, because apparently I think there are 26 hours in a day?Strange..

- xx, Kelly.

When You Say That It's Going To Be, It Always Turns Out To Be a Different Way...

I felt like I should be covering what happened all week - then I remembered that I did nothing but work until thursday. Thursday after school I went over to Chloe's house, and of course, slept over. When we were driving back to her house after going out that night we hit a huggggeeee amount of fog. So scary. I have to say, being outside of the city is nice, but in these conditions the lack of street lights, and lack of practically anything that can show you where the road is in front of you is really unfortunate. Anyways, friday morning we woke up really late, and I missed my physio appointment, so instead, I went to the bank and took out some cash, got a bit of food, and went to see Cassie. That was fun, a pretty calm (but late) night. Saturday night I saw Emmie, Belle and Angel for Angel's birthday! We went out with a few other girls for dinner, and then saw New Moon afterwards.

I have to say - I'm not a huge Twilight fan. I haven't read the books, didn't really watch the first movie, but Taylor Lautner has an amazing body. If God loves me and I marry someone with that kind of a body I don't think I'll be able to take my hand off of him. PDA here we come! haha.

Today (sunday) I stayed in and worked. I had so much to do and I haven't even gotten through half of it. So stressful. Only 25 or so days until Christmas break! I talked to Kristie in my attempt to procrastinate and avoid working. We have the weirdest conversations, haha, but for the past little while we've been talking about the new hottie shes got her eye on. He is a personal trainer - aka. FIT. Ooooh dear. If they end up together I'll be so happy - he sounds awsome. Plus she needs a decent guy, shes such a sweet heart and I love her to peices. She more than deserves a nice guy who treats her amazingly, AND is this fit.

Aaaah - I'm dying. Between seeing Taylor Lautner's gorgeous muscular body and this guy in my head I wish there was something for me. Aaah, oh well. At this rate I'll be eternally single.

Oh yes, and on that note I actually have been doing very little facebook creeping (thanks to the amount of work we've been getting) but I broke this nice trend today when creeping Thumper. I feel so pathetic, but seeing new moon made me miss him, even all the shitty feelings that came along with it. Ugh, ohh dear - why are girls so pathetic? I mean, we rely on guys for our happiness and are too much of romantics for our own good. Do you think a guy would ever be writing something like this? Heeeelllll no.

- xx, Kelly.

They Try Their Best To Change You, They Still Can't Erase You...

Just a quick note, I figured I should make up for not writing for so long before the post from yesterday.

Studying sucks, especially the boring subjects, I had to get up and go find food because reading all the stuff I need to know was getting exhausting. Natalie made cookies though, so I'm okay now, haha. Speaking of Natalie, last night we went on a really long walk, which is probably one of my favorite things to do. Everything is so peaceful in such a crowded city at 9 or 10 at night, its just you, the occasional dog walker, and the streetlights to lead the way.

On a good note - I was talking to my mom and apparently a trip to jail, a DUI on your record and your license suspension can change your mind about drinking.. who knew? My uncle called my mom and asked for my dad's phone number so he would talk to him about going to rehab. Which needs a little more explanation doesn't it? My dad was an alcoholic and went to rehab just over 5 years ago. I love him for it - he wasn't abusive or anything, the problem was really that he would go have a few too many drinks after work, come home and go to sleep. And seeing as my parents were divorced, my sister and I would just watch TV or do something by ourselves. BUT, like I said, he hasn't touched alcohol for over 5 years.

Alright, back to the books. Joyous, right? ughhh.

- xx, Kelly.

Cut Ties With All The Lies You've Been Living In...

It has been 8 days. Wow, I kept meaning to write, and then right as I was starting to get some time something would blow up in my face. Lovely, really.

So last weekend (saturday, sunday, monday) I stayed at Tiffany's house, which was fun. I got to meet all of her new friends out there. They were all really nice, some more than others but hey, isn't it always that way? Anyways, I took the train home late monday night, used that as time to do homework and study.

Tuesday was Tiffany's actual birthday, and I was back in the city and at school. All of the teachers decided that because this week (starting tomorrow) is a short week, they're going to give unit tests, seminars, speeches, you name a form of evaluation, they've assigned it for the same 4 days. So I spent the rest of the week (wednesday, thursday) just trying to catch up after a weekend of doing zerrooo, which failed a little bit.

I had decided that I was going to stay in and do homework friday because I was starting to get stressed out, but of course, that didn't happen. Instead I went and saw Penelope and Cassie. When I got home (which was still early! I still planned on doing homework..) and I got the lovely news that my family is slowly falling into little tiny pieces. (I'l go into detail after saturday)

Saturday I met up with Vikki, Penelope, Mac and Kristie and we all went to the Royal! It was sooo good to see them all, and especially because we have so much fun together - I haven't seen Kristie is forever - we talk all the time, but the few days she is in the city I'm either not here, or we're both busy.

Alright, this is the point where you either get ready for some not-so-fun stuff, or if you're happy today and you don't need something depressing, RUN.

My uncle is an alcoholic - something that seems to be surrounding me from all sides of my family. His liver almost failed a few weeks ago, and he was hospitalized for a week and told that he was not allowed to drive, and definitely not allowed to drink. Of course, seeing as alcoholism is a disease, thursday night he was in a little town 2 hours from where he lives, at a gas station and the people working realized that he was drunk. They called the local cops who came and waited and watched him for a bit., And of course he backed his truck into the side of an unmarked cop car.

They put him in jail until saturday morning, impounded his truck and took his license away. My mom had to meet my grandpa at my uncles house early saturday (my grandpa drove my uncle's car to his house, and my mom had to pick up my grandpa and take him home) they took all the car keys they could find and left. My mom has to stay with my grandparents for the week because my other uncle and aunt are going to visit her family and my grandma, who is dying not only of cancer but of watching her son kill himself, needs help.

Isn't it funny how all those things that seem so secure, those things that you hide behind when you need help, can all come crashing down within a few seconds of each other?

- xx, Kelly.

Breakfast At Tiffany's...

Fabulous movie, by the way.

I'm up, waay too early for a saturday morning, and off in about a half hour to see Tiffany! I know I've already told you, but this is the weekend of her birthday, so my parents agreed to let me miss a bit of school and go down to visit her.

[I know I haven't written since tuesday, but my internet stopped working, and I'll probably have to get my computer fixed, because it wasn't the wireless that wouldn't connect, it was this stupid thing.]

So I mentioned that one of my friends liked a guy, but I though he had a girlfriend that Lindsay knew? Anyways, saw her [Lindsay's friend] waiting for him outside of the school yesterday after classes had ended. I said hi to her, which seemed to catch her a little off guard. Its funny how many people there are in this city, and yet everyone knows everyone.

I'll write more once I get to Tiffany's, for now I have to pack

- xx, Kelly.

In Too Deep, Then I Fall A Little Farther...

I haven't laughed this much in way too long. Lunch with Darcy and Lola was amazing, and then dinner with Natalie and Jessie was perfect. At dinner we spent the majority of the time making fun of Caleigh [this includes the parents, they joined in on the not-all-that-nice comments]. We always make fun of the fact that we feel bad for her future husband - she SO CONTROLLING. Love her, but I don't know what I would do if I was stuck with her 24/7. [divorce..]

I laughed so hard I cried at lunch and dinner - sooooo needed it.

So much school work to do it insane. 3 1/2 days until I see Tiffany! I'm excited to go see her - I haven't seen her since August. Too long!

- xx, Kelly

Looking For That Little Blue Box...

Almost Forgot! -

Tiffany finally got a move-on with California! We have our $25 bet, and if he doesn't ask her out by the time I visit, the money is mine! I'm really hoping that he does - she deserves it! Anyways, she pretended not to have gotten the Bio homework and asked him to text it to her. Sneaky girl - Fingers crossed that he takes a hint!

I really wish there was something interesting on the Chicago front. Oh well, no worries - I'm sure I'll have something for you by monday ;)

- xx, Kelly

I Only Have Myself To Blame For Falling For Your Stupid Games...

I was debating writing last night, but I decided that I'd wait until tonight so I'd have more for you.

Last night I talked to Caleigh about what she did for halloween. She was telling me about how all these bitchy girl are spreading rumors about her and Team Canada hooking up, after he broke up with one of her really good friends a month or two ago. She's not.. and it sounds like it really sucks. I can't imagine if my really close friends started telling everyone I was hooking up with a good guy friend, just because we hang out? It's not right.

Anyways, one of her other guy friends was Thumper for halloween! Haha, here is how their conversation went:

Caleigh: Who are you dressed as?

Boy: Thumper!

Caleigh: Haha, thats clever. Hey I should get Kelly to come, she would complete the costume!

Boy: Naah, Thumper would be pisssseeeddd [hmm?, I'm liking the sound of this! haha]

Caliegh: Why, doesn't he have a girl?

Boy: Naah, they're done. I think its because he's stuck on your sister..

I have to say, this made me really happy. 1. I love that he hasn't gotten over me [yeah, shallow or whatever, its fine], 2. I'm still not over him, so if it was one-sided that would suck. And, 3. that he has obviously talked about me, or else why would his friend know that it would make him mad?

LOVE IT.

I was talking to Penelope about this yesterday - basically about how I don't really want him back, because he had a chance and faillleeedddd. But then again, it would take about 2 words. FML - why are girls so pathetic when it comes to guys? Don't deny it - we ALL do this.

On another note, one of my good friends likes this guy, and I heard from Lindsay that he's hooking up with her [Lindsay's] friend. I don't know what to say.. and if I should say anything?

-xx, Kelly

{Song Title: Undo It - Carrie Underwood}

Spring Forward, Fall Back...

Time changes always confuse me. I woke up at what turned out to be 8:00 this morning, thinking, "Great, I woke up just in time." NOPE. I woke up an hour earlier than I had hoped. Its fine though, gives me time to write.

I went out with Vikki last night. Nothing very interesting to report back to you, I personally think that Halloween is a bit overrated. It just gives people a reason to drink more, wear less, and everyone does it because its a "Holiday"! Don't get me wrong, my costume was fairly little - but it wasn't a ripped shirt with a pair of booty shorts, and something written across my chest that tells you what I'm supposed to be..

Vikki has a new boooyyy. We had just gotten back, when she told me. I fully though she was back with Nobody, and I could have smacked her. She wasn't, thank God, and she told me about the new guy she had been texting - all night.

So I realize I haven't written for a while, so we'll do the usual catch-up thing.

Wednesday I saw Penelope and Cassie - I told penelope about how Cassie knows Pearse, and then remembered that I had asked him about Cassie. I told her about how he remembered her, too. [Can't remember if I told you that story, so I'll summarize it.] Cassie was a counselor at an all boys camp, and Pearse went there. She recognized his name, and when I asked him about her, he remembered her, too. I missed going to the last regular season football game [my school's] where they lost - but they did well. They were playing a really good team, and seeing as our team has only been around for a year, evern getting one touch down [which they did] is quite the feat.

Thursday, I talked to Tiffany a bunch. Her parents are planning a surprise party for her on the weekend I go down, [next weekend?] and she figured out what they were planning and freaked. It was not good - scavenger hunt. For a 16th? REALLY? So we fixed that, ASAP and it is now safe to say that we have no idea what they're planning, but it is NOT a scavenger hunt, haha.

Friday there wasn't much - I've been sick so I took it easy and slept. I was supposed to meet up with Cassie again, but she wasn't feeling well either so it never really happened.

One of the girls I met in Ireland this summer, who I still talk to a lot, was telling me she is back in Ireland for the week - SO JEALOUS. But, because of this I've been talking to Penelope and Kristie about going back next year, more. I would like to get over to Galway if we go, and possibly fly to London and meet my mum there before going home? I don't know, its a work in progress. What I do know is that I am definitely going back to Ireland, and I'm going to have to work my butt off to get there - I have to pay for everything other then flights.

- xx, Kelly